Getting divorced, selling a home?
Pro tips for a smoother split

Vancouver Island real estate professional Tom Hopper has important advice for those navigating a separation or divorce, death of a spouse, and selling a home. He also helps buyersfind a new place after the dust settles. Tom works closely with Victoria real estate lawyer Peter DeMeo, who also has important legal information for couples. Here is their best advice for those separating, getting divorced, and selling a home.

Separation agreement: step one when divorcing and selling a home

Tom has seen the chaos that often ensues when couples sell a home without first having lawyers draft a formal separation agreement. “If there is a disagreement later— about who should get what percentage of the home sale proceeds— all the money gets locked up and held in trust while the dispute is settled.”

Simply put, he says, it means you’re not going to see that money for a while. “It’s sitting there, earning nothing, and you can’t spend it. And now, lawyers— who should have been involved before the sale— have to get involved after.” In a fast-moving real estate market, you certainly don’t want your share of the equity sitting around earning no interest while you spend thousands of dollars on a stressful legal dispute!

Invest in lawyers before the home sale, get your money faster

“When couples split, it’s often extremely emotional,” Tom says. “Grief, anger, and resentment about the past can make it hard to think clearly about the present and the future. For this reason alone, each person should hire their own family law expert.” Peter DeMeo is a real estate lawyer, not a family lawyer— but he has seen plenty of couples run into trouble when they hurry to sell a property before there is a legal separation agreement in place.

“When you’re undoing a relationship, married or not, you’re separating yourselves financially,” Peter explains. “The process of financially separating yourself from your partner or spouse should be formally summarized in a separation agreement. This agreement is important to me as a real estate lawyer, because it spells out clearly how the financial proceeds are going to be distributed.”

A dispute after a sale can be a long process. “And ironically, if you tried to save money by not hiring lawyers, a dispute will likely cost more in legal fees,” he counsels. “Best to invest in a separation agreement, negotiated by lawyers, before you sell your home.”

List home professionally to speed sale, avoid conflicts

With a professional realtor like Tom Hopper selling the family home, it’s easier for a divorcing couple to agree on the listing price and conditions. This also helps speed up the sale. “I’m not on anybody’s side,” Tom says. “My goal is to get them the most money I can for their house. If for some reason one or the other feels they needs their own realtor, it’s ok with me to co-list. It’s not required, but it’s not a problem.”

Separating couples might be tempted to save a commission fee by selling the home themselves, but this is ill-advised, Peter says, especially when the property is being divided. “We’re in a society now where everybody wants to DIY,” he says. “Everyone’s got Google lawyer, Google realtor at the ready. It doesn’t always turn out well.”

“What we do is pretty complex,” Tom agrees. “There’s ethical issues, conflict issues— financial, tax, and legal issues. It’s hard to glean all of that off of the internet.” And when your relationship is ending, says Peter, “it’s an emotionally challenging time. It’s not a good time to try to learn complex things.”

When home is sold, don’t wait to buy back in

A separation agreement spells out who will get what percentage of the sale of the couple’s home. Ultimately, that means each party can have their money distributed to them quickly, “so you can have the liquidity and funds to purchase your next home,” Tom says. “You want to get back into the real estate market as soon as possible. So having that agreement in place makes it so you can go out and shop.”

If one of you has enough money to buy the other out, then you keep that house. Otherwise, it’s unlikely either person will be able to have the buying power to replicate the current home after the split. Tom’s suggestion is to take whatever number you think your budget will be, and explore options. “What do I get for x dollars on realtor.ca? That reality check can be something that can help you prepare yourself emotionally.

Adjust your expectations when buying back in

It was initially a shock when “M” found herself divorced with two young children. Her first impulse was to buy a house similar to the one she and her ex had lived in together. “I quickly realized that taking on even a small heritage home was more than I could manage on my own,” she says. “The sheer volume of tasks for one adult— who isn’t handy— was overwhelming for me as a single mom.”

The loss of neighbourhood, the familiar routines, and the comforts of home were all things M had to honestly grieve. First, though, she had to buy back into the market, and “right size” her home for herself and her kids. For her, the “right size” home was a three-bedroom condo. “I balked at first, but I’ve learned to look at the gifts in this situation. Less to clean, less to maintain, and the responsibilities for maintenance are shared with others. Honestly, I prefer this, even though I resisted it and cried many tears.”

Recap: five pro tips for selling a home when you split

While it’s hard to look toward the future while grieving the losses, Tom says it’s important to get yourself into a new, right-size home— right away. His clarity and straight-forward, compassionate approach means clients can “move quickly on something that is appropriate so they can have a new home and get settled.”

Here are five pro tips from Tom Hopper for transitioning from couple to single, and buying your “right-size” home.

Each party hires a family lawyer, and a separation agreement is put in place.
Get a realtor to give you a realistic idea about what the current home is worth, or go online and see what has sold recently in your neighbourhood.
Know exactly how much equity you’re going to pull out of that home sale. That way, you don’t waste everybody’s time. If you think you can afford something you can’t afford, you’ll just frustrate yourself.
Get pre-approved, by a bank, for a mortgage based on your equity and income.
Shop inside your budget, find an appropriate home, and move quickly so you can get settled.

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